fstw:

Me: hi I’m here for my interview

Interviewer: we changed our minds cause we saw how badly you got dragged on tumblr dot com last week sorry hunty

iwishlilbwasmygrandpa:

Like if youre horny and want to destroy america

horoscope: aries enjoy breathing air and good food
girl: yaaaaassss bitch thats me as hell

caressmelouis:

when u come home from school and take ur makeup off

image

alekshdfilms:

one time i forced my mom to play pokemon for at least half an hour and all she did was catch a butterfree and name it lowfat

paradisaic:

paradisaic:

when you’re a two-dimensional dog just trying to have fun at a three-dimensional playground

image

definitely in the Top 10 dumbest posts made by me

rneerkat:

arteries will always hold a special place in my heart

batreaux:

well, son, i deeply misunderstood your birthday request for COD but we still need to eat all this fish

at the start of the semester: i'm gonna get a 4.0 gpa
at the end of the semester: perfection is the disease of a nation...pretty hurts, pretty hurts
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